Friday, 30 March 2007

Off on holiday in a few hours

Heading off in 4 hours- train to London then off to Germany tomorrow morning. So looking forward to seeing my niece! Beware, there will be baby photos and general gooeyness coming this way...

Trepidation of course- taking 8 days worth of supplies with me- a soup and a bar every day plus 2 shakes. I don't normally have a bar every day because I worry about being knocked out of ketosis, but if we are out and about it will be handy. However you look at it this is a challenge, so I will be so pleased if I can stick to the diet and even more pleased if I lose weight by the time I get back, especially as that will take me into the 14 stones for the first time since I don't know how long- 15 years? I think the biggest challenge will be the water, as it was when I was away last time. Its difficult when your travelling, and difficult when you are out every day esp because public toilets are not terribly common in Germany- so it will probably be a lot of drinking in the evening and peeing all night- thank god the in-laws have 2 bathrooms!

Anyway had my pop-in and the weigh in was good news- 2 and a quarter punds since Monday which takes me to 15 stone and a quarter- shame it wasn't 15 stone dead, but that little quarter will niggle me til its gone, so every time I am tempted I will think about it!

It will be difficult to blog while I am away, as will ahve to rely on in-laws clunky PC, but I have started a diary thread on minimins (can i resist temptation) as it will be easy to do quick posts there, so I will keep you up to date with any trials and tribulations.

Here is the up to date tracker- cannot wait to see what it says when I get back- no chance at all of weighing myself before 8th April.

Good luck to all- keep those losses coming!

Monday, 26 March 2007

Goal reached, but tainted, why am I such a B!

Finally getting a chance to post- hectic times. Spent all weekend in the garden, finally got the veg beds planted- just hope I reach my goal before anything delicious grows- I don't like the radishes and I am allergic to lettuce, so don't mind missing them when they are ready in a couple of months. And a lot of the veg is fine for early stages of management- rocket, spinach, berries, and the peas beans and root veg (parsnip and jerusalem artichokes) won't be ready until much later in the year-yum!

Anyway, sorry for the long gap, but I did reach my goal this week! Yep I have reached the 2 stone mark and lost another quarter pound in addition as a wee bonus. So I was dead chuffed to have done that by 6 weeks- but then it all got spolied. Other half forgot to ask me how my weigh-in went, and after I had made such a fuss about hoping to reach 2 stone this week I felt really upset about it. So we had a bit of a row- you know me saying you are selfish and the OH saying I'm not feeling too well I just forgot I get confused about your weigh-ins. So all that good feeling was totally lost. And I felt rotten for being so upset about it but couldn't help it. Anway, flowers have just been brought home, and I did console myself with a trip to M&S- just bought a t-shirt and some smaller size knicks (plus a sexy pair for the undeserving OH- they won't be seen for a good while yet!).

So I am trying to get the good feeling back, but it isn't coming- I am pretty sure this is TOTM and PMS is probably to blame- we are going out for a walk together now so maybe that will help. Am I being unduly sensitive, a bit of a bitch?

I guess I am also a bit tense about our holiday- 8 days away from home is going to be a big challenge. I have packed all my meals and the in-laws have been briefed on how the diet works and not to worry that I don't eat or keep grilling me about it. But I am still a bit tense- just want to manage it, but perhaps there is a little bit of me that is also resentful (internal chatterbox) telling me its a holiday and I should be able to relax and do (eat) what I want. Got to get into a better state of mind!

Will update ticker later- will miss a weigh-in but going to pop-in on Thursday so will get done then and see how it goes!

God I'm a miserable cow today- what a contrast from my last post- must be bipolar or something!!

Thursday, 22 March 2007

Weight loss vs hair loss?

Okay, last night was one of those moments... you know when you hear something bad and you could overeact like mad or just take it in your stride. Let it be known that I am one of the world's greatest overeactors (drama queen not to put too fine a point on it!)- but this diet can lead you into a zen like state (as Lesley has noted!), so I didn't. What happened? Oh yes- well I was enjoying my Indian Head Massage course very much- it is very practical and we massage each other almost constantly for two hours- and my friend and massage partner said oh my god you are shedding hair! And she had to brush hair off my back- now I have very short, very thick dark hair (thanks grandad!), and it never sheds in noticeable amounts. And then I remembered- possible side effect of LL. But all the threads say it happens when you restart food- so what the f***!!

And then I said to myself- okay, a bit of hair loss- you are almost 2 stone lighter than 6 weeks ago. It'll come back- anyway you got loads, so is anyone going to really notice? Yes, my hair is my pride and joy (any port in a storm when you are a 'larger lady')- but weight loss will give me a few more assets to be proud of...and karma returned. And I realised that I won't let anything-ANYTHING- stand in the way of this diet and reaching my goal. I am in love with this diet- if this diet needed a kidney I'd be first in the queue! I know this is weird. I know I should not be this emotional about a diet- but I cannot imagine ever leaving the diet behind. The though of saying goodbye is almost too much to bear. What happened to the 'omg I'll never not eat for 100 days, I cannot wait for it to be over and eat a bag of crisps again' attitude. How can I not want the diet to end????

Perhaps it was all that indian head- perhaps learning how to cleanse chakras has lifted me closer to nirvanah. Perhaps I am just mad (quite frankly I have actually been mad in the past). Who knows? Perhaps having a colonic (my two stone 'treat'-see ideas for treats thread on minimins) will bring me back to reality?

watch this space...

Monday, 19 March 2007

The BIG Step and a small challenge

Okay if you look at my ticker you might notice 2 things:
1) I have lost another 3.5 lbs this week (yippee), so I am not going to be seeing dwindling returns on this diet which was my greatest fear.
2) I ahve changed my target from an overweight BMI (169 lbs) to a healthy BMI (141 lbs).

So I have done it, I have made the decision to go all the way- I am scared but also elated as I have decided that making this big a sacrifice deserves a truly amazing reward. What this means is that I will probably have to spend 100 days in development after 100 days in Foundation, which sounds forever- until you consider that the end point is sometime in the early autumn- so I could go from morbidly obese to a healthy BMI in just over half a year! I have been getting some lovely compliments already, so imagine what it will be like in a few motnhs. Imagine what it will be like to wear a slinky cocktail dress during the Christmas party season for the FIRST TIME EVER!

As for the small challenge- well another 3.5 lbs and I will have lost 2 stone so that is my target for this week- to have lost two stone by the time 6 weeks are complete. The only problem is how to get there? This diet is what it is- yopu can't be more strct with yourself, and I have lost more this week (no swimming, but good steps) than last week with tons of swimming- so exercise (though good) may not accelerate my weight loss. Perhaps the only way is to drink more (!) water- after not drinking enough at the beginning of last week I upped to at least 5 litres per day for the rest of the week- it was like being back to week one of the diet in the peeing stakes, but it seems to have done the trick. So perhaps I will try for 6 litres a day this week and see what happens. If you hear a sloshing sound it will be me!

Saturday, 17 March 2007

I'm Back!

Sorry to all the people who have been following my Blog- as you will know I was away for three days at the beginning of the week for a funeral and then a conference, and of course when I got back to workI had well over 100 e-mails and even after the spam about 60 required my attention, plus all the meetings that couldn't happen earlier in the week were in my diary over Thursday and Friday-eek!

So here I am, having missed a weigh-in, all my swimming and my evening class this week, so feeling like being a bit selfish- normally that means food but instead bought 5 books (all on special offer so less than £30) and a new fleece hooded top reduced from 65 to 20 in Black's- when I do it up it shows up my fatness but wearing it loose is fine and it will look nice zipped up in a couple of weeks. Also bought my baby niece some thinsulate booties- soooooo cute. She will be too small to wear them now but by next winter they will be great. Did I mention by baby shoe fetish? I just love tiny shoes and have resisted buying them because I know it will become an expensive obsession, but now I have the perfect little excuse. Just 2 weeks until we see her for the first time, she will be 9 weeks old by then.

The funeral went really well, and the time following it was really nice family time- no tensions over secrets etc or things about money. We all loved my grandad very much but he could be very funny about money, as he grew up in poverty in southern Italy and had no idea what the cost of things were, so he was always criticising my nan for spending too much. There was a lot of food after the funeral- didn't have any- but the next day we had a big family lunch at our favourite restaurant and I had 3 slices of roast beef. Its a carvery, and you could help yourself to all the veg, roasties yorkies you wanted but I didn't touch anything else. I had one shake less to compensate as if I were in management and it didn't seem to knock me out of ketosis and I am sure I have lost this week. Still not a habit to get into!

The conference went really well too- presented twice and it went down very well- considering I had been dreading it I came away with a spring in my step, soon dampened by having to stand on the train from Birmingham til Derby, but got a seat in the end. The major problem with being away was drinking water- just couldn't get the time to get it down me, but have rectified that in the last few days and its been peeing for england and scotland ever since!

Although I missed weigh-in my scales showed a 2.5 loss which took me to a stone and a half off. Bit disappointed, but I guess I must resign myself to 2.5-3 lb losses every week. That means I will have to go beyond Foundation by 8 weeks to hit my original target, but you know what I am up for it, I really am. I will see how the losses maintain but am still thinking of adjusting my target down from 29.9 BMI to 25.

FYI I look so skinny today (in my terms). Size 18 skinny jeans and a size 20 (boobs will always make me a size bigger on top, but hey they have their advantages :) ) long-sleeved t-shirt. Saw a close friend this morning who has not seen me since January: she was totally impressed. Hurrah hurray!!

Saturday, 10 March 2007

I know, I know

Yep I am too lazy and haven't posted for ages! Lots of things going on this week, very busy at work and I am away for 3 days next week- also have been conked out and in bed by 10 every night for some reason. Perhaps because I am generally getting a bit more exercise?

Not sure I am losing much weight this week, though back in (admittedly generous) size 18 jeans. Very snug, but no harm in that and I do have a decent bottom for a big girl (I have been told).

People are beginning to notice my weight loss- though from my face rather than anywhere else yet, but all compliments welcome. Seeing my family this week for my grandad's funeral (any tips on what to do at a catholic funeral?), so they might see a difference, though of course most thoughts will be on grandad. Lots of people saying how good my skin is looking- this diet has worked wonders for the spots I usually get around my neck- reduced almost to nothing, and I got really annoyed when one appeared the other day!

I have to admit that I cheated this week- my department ran two events and canapes and lunch were available- it was too tempting, and I wish I hadn't but I ate some chicken bites one day and some salmon the next day- small amounts and I am sure that, as it was protein, it didn't knock me out of ketosis, but very naughty and feel suitably gulty. Just had 3 packs yesterday to make up for it and back on track today. Looking forward not back!

Bought myself some handweights so I can do toning while I watch the TV and keep the bingo wings at bay. I have to say that the swimming I do seems to keep my skin reasonably tomed and elastic, so I hope I won't be left with anything too bad in the skin department. Have decided on a course of wraps and cellulite treatment towards the end of the diet to make sure I give myself every chance of toned bod.

I have also decided that, as long as this diet keeps working I will stay on it until I get to a lower weight than planned- I had set the target of 12 stone, but now an thinking 1ostone 7 would be achievable. When I started 14 weeks felt like forever and an impossible task but with only 10 weeks left, it all seems manageable, in fact 10 weeks seems like a very short time and I will regret the diet being finished. Could I become an addict?

Its been a cold day here, desperate to get into the garden and start planting (hope I will reach target before harvesting!) but no go today- just a short trip to feed carrots to the horses and that is it. Hope tomorrow is better! Will do more toning to make up for lack of activity.

Won't be able to post until late next week, hopefully I will have completed the challenge of travelling and being away while on the diet- have decided to take a bar for every day I am away and attempt to have a hot soup on the evenings. Making up a colde shake while out and about is quite easy, so its all doable- will let you know!

Monday, 5 March 2007

Week 3 weigh in, all sorts of milestones

Well, I have got through the 'dreaded' week 3!! I say this as, looking at the message boards this seems to be the week when determination wavers a little and also for some peole a week of ver small weight loss. But happily I have lost 3.5 lbs- total is now 18.5 lbs gone in 3 weeks- happy, happy, especially as TOTM came and went this week! I am now in the 15 stones for the first time in about 18 months, and well under the awful morbidly obese BMI. Also a shake's width away from fitting into size 18s, so a lot of very underused clothes are coming out of the wardrobe. Bought size 20 jeans last Monday to celebrate last week's loss, wore them on saturday to find that they are too big- never mind they are from M&S, so should be able to exchange for size 18 (they were £15 so I don't think I was too indulgent to buy them). In fact have been looking at outlet shops for clothes, and have picked up a cheap shirt too- which will fit me by the time I want to wear it next week.

So some nice milestones out of the way- including more than 20% through the diet now (and 6.5% of my body weight lost!). I would like to have lost more than 10% (24 lbs) of my original weight by the end of week 5, I think that is quite an easy challenge as less than 6 lbs to go- in fact I hope I can get there by next weigh in.

Saturday night was a bit of torture- I ran the quiz night for our big wifie's night in at a local pub- there were nibbles afterwards, trays and trays of sausage rolls, garlic humous on pitta, sandwiches, crisps...aaaaaagh! I had saved a shake for going home though, so focussed on that and not a crumb passed my lips. Left early though and felt like a party-pooper, but hey, losing weight is more important than being the entertainment for a little while, and friends will understand- although I have not told any of my friends about being on the diet- I don't see them very often with the commuting I do, so I am hoping to emerge, swanlike, from the layers of fat and have them all be amazed. Next time we meet will be early April, so another momth to really make an impression.

Anyway, work is now piling onto my desk again so had better get back to what I am paid for!